Shea's Private Blog


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1:44 PM

Yesterday was super awesome!
I had to figure out what to wear & I finally picked this cute black dress with red roses and little skulls hidden in the roses. OooOoo! AND IT HAS POCKETS. & before Li got here, I checked my Myspace and she had my name in her profile and I’m the first one in her top 8. That was so exciting!!! Anyways, then she got here, and we did our makeup together. She’s really good at makeup and gave me some good tips! Like putting a white eyeshadow in the inner corner of the eye to brighten it & make it look bigger! Mom knew we were getting ready so she didn’t come into my room and so we were able to cuddle and make out for a little bit after we did our makeup. It’s super cool to have a girlfriend who’s pretty girly too! Like the best friend I always wanted, but also I love her romantically. We totally have the same shoe size too! We can’t really share clothes though because she’s like 2 inches shorter and definitely tinier than I am. My boobs are frickin huge LOL I hate them.
But anyways!
Everybody got here around 4 and even Jesse ended up being able to come! Karla really likes him, and they were talking alone for a little bit yesterday! I’d be really happy for her if they started going out! Li hooked up her iPod and my mom gave me a weird look, but she can suck a dick. I love all the emo/screamo Li and everybody have been showing me! Then the pizza got here, and mom surprised me with some cute pink and blue cupcakes.
After we ate, I told my mom we were gonna go on a walk and take the dog because it was so nice out! Diesel was really happy too! He’s Charlie’s dog, but Charlie doesn’t ever take him outside. We went up the street for a couple minutes and we followed a little trail back into the woods and the creek. We smoked cigarettes and Li had a bowl and some weed that we smoked. Diana had a bottle of Arbor Mist in her backpack that we all shared too. Then we walked back out onto the street and Ashley sprayed all the girls with her body spray and everyone used hand sanitizer and eye drops. I felt reallllyyyyyy weird walking back into the house cuz this time I got kinda high and also I had a few big chugs of the wine. My mom wasn’t super engaged though. She gets pretty zone-y sometimes. I think she wants a divorce from dad, honestly. I don’t blame her. He’s an asshole. Ahhhh I get so distracted and go off on all of these pointless tangents and I’m never gonna be good at writing anything! I don’t know. Not a lot else happened. Everybody left by 10 and I was able to get a few minutes alone in my room with Li before her dad came to get her. Before I went to bed, I found some of Li ming’s hair on my hoodie and I bundled it all together and put it in an envelope. I wanted to tie it with ribbon or something, but I don’t have any ribbon and also, it’s not enough hair.
She couldn’t hangout today, unfortunately, but I walked past her house like four times after dinner. If I can’t sleep tonight, I might ride my bike over there. I like to think about her being safe and happy in her house. I picture her brushing her beautiful hair, studying, chatting online, in the shower, sleeping peacefully.
I’m starting to feel like I’m disappearing and invisible when she’s not with me. It’s like when I can’t see her, I cease to exist. I really need to see her. I’m so glad she’s in my homeroom so I can see her every school day! I need to plan my outfit for tomorrow. I want to look super cute for her. She likes it when I wear skirts and black...hmmm I have that gray shirt and those black jeans… I need to go shopping with her. She’s a scene queen on the down-low. Does that even make sense? I dunno, she’s not all flashy Myspace scene kid because her parents won’t let her dye or cut her hair or wear crazy makeup. She sneaks bright eyeshadow, black eyeliner and dark lipsticks into school and put them on in the bathroom. She also usually changes her shirt to some dope band shirt or she has this super awesome black sweater that’s all ripped up and has safety pins all over. She told me that Trent’s older brother does piercings and he could probably hook her up with a piercing she could hide, like a belly button or even one of those bull-ring nose piercings! Those are weird if you don’t have the right nose, but I think Li would look great with basically anything ever.
Maybe I can pay for her to get a piercing or both? I can get a job now that I’m 16 so I can buy her everything she wants!
I need to make sure that I’m constantly doing every single thing in my power to make her happy. She needs to be happy because she needs to stay with me and be around me. I have to be a perfect girlfriend, because I’ll lose my mind if she leaves me. I know it’s only been 8 days, 6 hours and 10 minutes, but I feel like I’ve known her forever. She’s so perfect. Dare I say soulmate?


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